Monday, February 21, 2005

dykes to watch out for

So this is me getting into a brawl last night at my local kind-of-gay bar, watching the season premiere of The L Word:

At least it's what I wanted to do. I'm Patty Duke and the lesbian who took her sorry self way too seriously is Susan Hayward. She WISHES!!! In real life she looked a lot more like this:

The season premiere starts showing at 6, so my friends and I show up at 3 (because, you know, we're serious and competitive people. Also, we're not slackers.) get seats, and start drinking. By the time 5:30 rolls around the place is PACKED. Every lesbian in the midwest is in there and most of them are pretty bummed they don't have our seats. But one of them can't contain her bitterness (because the bar is NOT going to be showing this episode over and over for like the next six hours, and Showtime is NEVER going to repeat it) and she confronts my male friends, telling them they ought to be ashamed of themselves, as men taking up seats during the season premiere of a LESBIAN show.

Harry Potter: How would you feel if a bunch of women took up all the seats in your bar during Queer As Folk?
Male friend: (Slow to respond, finally deigns to look over the top of his trendy fag glasses down at the tiny angry woman standing on the floor) I never watched QAF. Did you?
HP: Uh, no.
MF: But I watched every episode of this show. Did you?
HP: No. (tries to skulk off, but bar is so packed she can hardly move. She leaves amidst a flutter of sorries and "excuse me" and "oh dear, did I step on that?")

She ends up sitting about four feet away, perched on the arm of a chair, glowering at us.


Blogger rotatingmass said...

Ooh, brutal competition. Maybe she'll arrive earlier next time. May I be so bold as to ask what was your beverage of choice for this fabulous season premeiere?

6:28 AM  
Blogger Margo, darling said...

Margo always drinks bourbon and soda. Makers if someone else is buying, Jack Daniels if it's on my tab.

Am still feeling might jealous of ya'll, ladybugeeb, for living such a short stretch from la Britney. Lucky one.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Margo, darling said...

When I said Jack Daniels I actually meant Jim Beam, my partner reminds me. (file under Boy's names: They All Sound Alike To Me) Apparently Jack Daniels is kind of sweet and "mashy." Whatever. I guess the point is, Margo rarely mixes her own drinks and thus can't be held responsible for knowing what's in them.

6:53 PM  
Blogger rotatingmass said...

I've never tasted Jim Beam that I can recall. Will have to have a side by side blind comparison of Jack and Jim. On ice. Would prefer Jill. Not on ice.

9:33 PM  

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